


Pillow Talk

by hufflepufflightwood (hufflepuffkaspbrak)



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Sad, immortality issue anxiety, it starts out cute but then turns into a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-08 20:16:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7771666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hufflepuffkaspbrak/pseuds/hufflepufflightwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus can't sleep and so he's going to make sure Alec can't sleep either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pillow Talk

            “Do you think Chairman Meow understands what’s happening when he’s the room while we’re having sex?”

            Alec’s eyes shoot open as a hand pokes his shoulder and a voice repeating the question. He turns to his side to see Magnus wrapped up in a blanket but sitting straight up, painting his nails.

            “What?” Alec’s voice comes out hoarse and quiet. He glances over to the clock on the bedside table reading 1:12 A.M..

            “Like cats have sex, yes, I understand that. But does he _get_ that?” Magnus blows on his nails softly.

            Alec stares at Magnus, blinking hard. His mouth has fallen open slightly, his hair pressed against his cheek from sleep. He cursed himself for being a light sleeper. The trait that helped him be up and ready for battle at the Institute came back to haunt him.

            “Darling?” Magnus cocks his head to the side when Alec doesn’t respond to his question.

            “What the fuck?” Alec whispers, not even being sure Magnus could hear. He turns over to face away from Magnus and buries his head in his pillow with a groan.

            “Alexander?” Magnus whisper-yells, but his boyfriend ignores him.

••

            Alec wakes up again after feeling like he only just drifted off to sleep. This time it’s to a body sprawled out across his chest and a hands braiding his hair. The clock reads 1:45 A.M..

            “We have to make the conscious decision to eat. Like, it’s necessary for us to live but we have to make sure we do it. Plants don’t. They have to have nutrition and stuff but it just automatically happens.” Magnus rambles. “And I’m not sure if we have it worse or they do. Because sometimes people can’t afford food or they forget to eat but then plants don’t get to choose what they eat and they don’t really eat it, it kind of just appears in their body.”

            “Magnus.” Alec groans, pushing his boyfriend’s hands away from his hair.

            “Yes, Alexander?”

            “Please. Shut up.”

••

            Alec falls asleep with Magnus across his chest but wakes up to Magnus turning on the light at 2:30.

            “Huh? What?” Alec lifts his head up from his pillow.

            “Sorry!” Magnus exclaims. “Wrong switch. I wanted to turn the fan on. It’s hot, I’m sweating.”

            “Magnus!” Alec yells, exasperated.

            “Yes?” Magnus crawls back into bed after turning the light off.

            “Go to sleep.” Alec grabs his boyfriend’s shirt and pulls him against his body.

            Magnus brings the blanket over to cover himself and Alec, letting himself curl up into a ball against Alec’s chest. “I love you.”

            “I love you, too.” Alec mumbles. “Go to sleep. Please, Magnus, go to sleep.”

••

            3:47 in the morning approaches and Alec is just as frustrated with Magnus’ antics as he was the past 3 times he was woken up.

            “I can’t sleep. Darling, babe, Alexander, wake up, I can’t fall asleep.” Magnus is poking his side in tandem with the words he’s saying.

            “Just close your eyes.” Alec mumbles.

            “But I can’t.” Magnus whines, drawing out the syllables.

            “Please.” Alec says, his voice falling softer, and he falls back to sleep before Magnus can respond.

••

            “Alec. Alec. Alec. Alec.” Magnus is repeating his name over and over again.

            “What, Magnus?” Alec’s voice is laced with frustration.

            Magnus is no longer curled into Alec’s side, but he’s sitting up, leaning against the headboard of the bed. His legs are folded into his chest, his chin resting on his knees.

            “I can’t go to sleep.” Magnus sounds significantly less cheery than the previous times Alec had been woken up.

            Alec sighs, rubbing his eyes and pushing himself up on his elbow. “Are you okay?”

            “I love you.” Magnus says, rubbing his fingers together and inspecting his newly painted nails.

            “I love you, too.” Alec says and lets out a huff of breath, trying his hardest to form sentences that make sense with his lack of sleep. “You know I do. Been together long time.”

            “I know.” Magnus’ voice is soft, vulnerable.

            Alec reaches a hand out to grab Magnus’ leg and pulls. “C’mere.” Magnus climbs his way over to Alec and his boyfriend wraps his arms around him, pulling him as close as possible. “Are you okay?” He repeats.

            Magnus hesitates before shaking his head. “I don’t know.” 

            With every word Magnus says, Alec can feel himself waking up more. His brain isn’t a ball of fuzz any longer and he’s slowly being able to form coherent sentences. “What’s wrong?”

            “I really, really love you.” Magnus starts. “And I’m scared.”

            “Of what?”

            “Losing you.” Magnus voice comes out hushed, barely audible even in the silent bedroom. “I don’t particularly like losing people.”

            “Magnus, I’m not going anywhere.” Alec says, confused as to why Magnus was afraid he was going to leave at 5 in the morning.

            “No, not you leaving.” Magnus buries his face into Alec’s chest, his words becoming mumbled. “I just want you for forever.”

            It takes Alec a second to register the words Magnus says before it clicks into his head what Magnus was worrying about. “Oh…” He breathes out.

            “Yeah.” Magnus says bluntly. “I’ve dealt with it before but even losing friends and family and loves a million times didn’t prepare me. Nothing is going to ever make it easier.”

            “Magnus, I’m 24. We don’t have to worry ri –”

            “I worry every day. It doesn’t matter that you’re 24 and honestly it doesn’t matter that you’re a Shadowhunter and you might leave before then. Even if we were both mundanes I would worry.”

            “That’s not healthy.” Alec says, running a hand through Magnus’ hair, wanting to soothe his pains.

            “I know.” Magnus sighs contently at the contact of Alec’s hand and his scalp, but his voice is still full of anxiety. “I can’t help it.”

            “And not to increase this anxiety. But I might end up losing you instead.” Alec speaks slowly, not wanting to send Magnus (and himself) off into a swirl of anxiety at 5 A.M. that he may not be able to get out of.

            “I know.” Magnus repeats. His chest was freezing up, painful aches in his throat as he tried to stop himself from letting tears flow out.

            “We’re not ready for anything life throws at us.” Alec places a kiss on his forehead. “I didn’t think I would ever be able to be this happy in my life, in a relationship with a _guy_ , not to mention the love of my life. I thought I would have to hide it.”

            “Yeah, but that’s different and –”

            “Were you ready to fall in love with a Shadowhunter?”

            Magnus stops and breathes in deeply. “No.”

            “Exactly.” Alec responds. “We’re taking this day by day. Nothing is going to prepare us for the future, Magnus, because we don’t know what is going to happen.”

            “I guess.” He mumbles, words barely audible.

            “I love you, you love me, a Shadowhunter and a warlock.” Alec pulls him closer, bodies flush against each other. “This isn’t normal. We aren’t something that people have seen often, if at all.”

            “But, Alec –”

            “All I know is that I love you with every fiber in my body and I’ll be here next to you for as long as I am able to. I can’t make your immortal life any less painful, but I’m hoping our little story will be enough to leave you smiling a hundred of years later.”

            Magnus can’t stop it this time and the tears freely flow out of his eyes, falling onto Alec’s chest. He can feel his boyfriend breathing hard, Alec might be crying or he might not, but Magnus doesn’t have the strength to remove himself from his position against Alec’s chest. He might never have the strength.

••

            A hundred years later, Alec is right. Magnus may not be able to remember everything about Alec, in fact he hardly remembers anything at all. His laugh is no longer something playing in his head, he can no longer imagine the swirl of color in Alec’s eyes. However, occasionally, he’ll stumble across pieces of their relationship. A photo here, an old gift there, and Magnus no longer cries. He smiles, the only piece of Alec that is firmly locked in his head is the words he said that night. And his little story with Alec, no matter how short, is more than enough for him.


End file.
